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The first time,
I cried on my way home,
because I couldn’t let my mother
see me spill tears over a boy.
I couldn’t sleep for a week:
you haunted my dreams.
I told everyone I was fine-
you didn’t matter.

The second time,
I vomited my guts out,
I said -
nothing was wrong, I just wanted alcohol,
but really I thought
I could drink you away like a bad hangover.
I told myself I was fine-
we didn’t matter.

The third time,
I smiled,
because your fingertips tickled my hips.
I closed my eyes-
I memorized everything,
the taste of your lips
and the way your breath hitched,
every-single-thing, because this was it.

The fourth time,
I dug my nails into my ribs,
because I could not scream.
I kissed three boys in a week
and let my tears stain their lips.
I told myself I was done-
there was no more us,
you burned us to the ground.

The last time,
I sat outside a bar
my head heavy with vodka
my clothes wet, my tears mixed with rain,
and I promised myself-
never again,
because I don’t have the strength
to put myself together yet again.

m.v., I could never heal me, as well as you could break me (via findingwordsforthoughts)




why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that


because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”

and not the slang word for the female genital region?

literally no one else knows this. nobody. 

(Source: littlemixens)


How to make the BEST risotto without using Italian rice? Find the recipe in below. Happy Meatless Monday! :)

Leek Risotto

Serves 4

3 large leeks

4 tablespoons unsalted butter

6 cups vegetable stock

1 cup arborio rice

1/2 cup white wine

1/3 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese

Remove and wash the leek greens, then place in a pot with the vegetable stock and bring to a simmer.

Finely slice the white and pale green parts of the leeks and wash well in a bowl of cold water.

Heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a large heavy pot over medium heat until hot; then stir in the leek whites and cook, stirring occasionally, until translucent, about 5 minutes. Stir in the rice; then add the wine and cook, stirring until the wine has been absorbed, about 3 minutes. Stir in enough of the stock to cover the rice and cook, stirring constantly and adding more stock as needed, until the rice is tender and creamy, about 18 minutes. Stir in the cheese, remaining 2 tablespoons butter, and salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately.

1. That boy who gives you butterflies and goosebumps will break your goddamn heart. He will tear it into a thousand pieces, try to fix it, then tear it apart again. Trust nobody.

2. He’s going to make you believe that he would never hurt you in a million years. He’ll get defensive when you accuse him of things, then turn around and treat you like shit.

3. You will cry. A lot.

4. Netflix and junk food will become your new best friend.

5. Then you’ll feel like shit for eating so much junk food and you’ll exercise everyday and eat almost nothing.

6. You’ll be okay. You’ll stop crying, eventually. It will take a while, but you’ll be fine. At some point you’ll stop wanting to hurt yourself. You lived before him and you’ll live after him.

six things I wish I knew six months ago. (via im-trapped-in-wonderlandd)
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